[X-Unix] SSH connection

[SeaSoft Systems]

I am trying to SSH into a remote computer for the first time 
(specifically my computer-phobic aunt's new iBook in another state; 
I'm on a 10.3.8 machine)

I got her to read me her DHCP-assigned IP over the phone, and to turn 
on remote login in her system/sharing prefs. Had her reboot her 
system & then reconfirm remote login to be sure it took.

So far, I haven't been able to ssh into her computer (ssh says port 
22 connection refused). It may be I don't know what I am doing here, 
but I've read the ssh manpage & think I'm doing it correctly. I'm 
just typing, in a bash terminal window:

ssh username at xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx

where I am using the correct username (I've tried both long and short 
user names here) and IP number.

I expected to be prompted for her admin password, but so far the 
connection is refused before that can happen.


Diagnostics:

- I can ping her ip (avg round trip around 80 ms)

- The OS X firewall on the remote computer is disabled

- There is no other firewall on the remote computer

- I called tech support to see if they were blocking any ports at the 
server; they claim not.

- I have the correct user name, short user name, and password (which 
I assigned on a Thanksgiving visit to her house).

I'm looking for ideas on what to try next...


Richard