Phil's 2002 Moron Of The Year Award

[Phillip McGree]

We've all heard of the Darwin Awards, which recognises people that have done really stupid things and died in the process.  I don't know of an equivalent for dumb thieves, but the bloke who has the starring role in the following story deserves a life membership if such an "organisation" exists.

I had a spare few minutes today, so was looking through the Quokka, a classified newspaper here in Perth.  In the Wanted section was a person looking for some iMac software, so being a Mac dealer I gave him a call.

He brings the iMac over about 6pm so that it could be left here overnight for me to re-install all the system software from some original iMac CDs that I have here.  Being the curious nosy bugger that I am, I was asking him how long he's had it, etc, etc, etc.  

"It was a gift."  Thus, alarm bell number one starts doing a really funky sort of a dance.

He then sees a USB keyboard on one of my desks here and comments that he paid $100 for one last week because he didn't get a keyboard with the iMac.

Got the iMac as a gift, but without a keyboard, eh?  Thus, alarm bell number two starts ringing.  Other alarm bells start revving their engines.

Whilst conversing with Mr Moron, I quietly load up (on my PowerBook laptop) Apple's web site for checking serial numbers.  Voila, the bright red letters "STOLEN" turn up.  I close the screen immediately so that Mr Moron doesn't see this.

Bugger alarm bell number three, the whole bloody alarm bell population is going nuts, whilst I try to prevent from breaking out laughing.

The subject of digital cameras then came up, so I showed off my beloved Canon G2 digital camera.  Took some demo pics and showed him the quality.  Of course, one of these photos was of Mr Moron in my front yard, thus having evidence that he was here.  Mr Moron's IQ level starts plummeting dangerously towards the single digit mark.

All the applications have been deleted from the iMac, so I put Outlook Express on there and open it.  Lo and behold, email appears.  Sifting through email found the actual owner's name, home address and phone number.  I recovered another stolen iMac in June last year the same way (that particular idiot was convicted in court in March this year).  One must appreciate how thieves manage to trash all the applications, but never think about the Preferences and other stuff.

A quick phone call to Mr Victim has us both VERY amused (giggling like idiots, actually).  His house was burgled and ransacked a month ago.

He is a university student, and uninsured.  Bummer, why couldn't it be some ultra rich person with valuable data, who would then give me a new Ferrari and KTM as a reward?????

Mr Victim will be picking up his iMac soon, and we will discuss how we'll present this lovely tale to the constabulary.  With Christmas a few days away, I suspect that Mr Moron isn't going to be having the best weekend of his life.  If police follow their usual pattern of house searches, they'll get Mr Moron out of bed nice and bright and early (ie so he's too tired to destroy or hide anything).  The bloke I got busted last year had 14 police search his house because they had another major search to do nearby the same morning, so they did his house as a warm up!

Moral(s) of the story:
If your Mac gets knocked off, make sure it's on Apple's database
Bring stolen Macs to me, I could do with the laugh
Make sure your computer equipment is properly insured
Record your serial numbers!


Still Laughing,
Phil
Thinking he needs to get some "Go ahead, make my day" t-shirts made up.


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Sent from the Apple PowerBook G4 of:
Phillip McGree                                     	Web: 	http://www.phil.net.au
Perth, Western Australia			http://chat.iinet.net.au
Mobile Phone: 0418 922 500		Email:  	phil at phil.net.au
Macs for sale - new and secondhand		http://mac.iinet.net.au