Hilary Rosen © Press Conference in Iraq©

[Loren Schooley]

Hilary Rosen© from RIAA© will write Iraq's Copyright laws.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/30441.html

>From the newly appointed Iraq Information Minister Hilary Rosen's press
conference:

On her ultimate objective:
    "Be assured. Baghdad's music will be safe, protected"

On musicians who offer free music:
    "Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't
even control themselves!"

On the American Consumer speaking out against the RIAA:
    "We are not afraid of the Americans.  Congress has condemned them.  They
are stupid.  They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned." 

On the legal frontlines:
    "We have destroyed 2 PC's, 4 burners, 2 iPods and their shovels - We
have driven them back."

On Apple "Switchers":
    "They are achieving nothing; they are suffering from casualties. Those
casualties are increasing, not decreasing."

On Lenny Kravitz:
    "I triple guarantee you, there are no American musicians in Baghdad."

On experts claiming that the industry's woes stem from within their own
practices:
    "This is unbased"

On ISP's trying to protect consumer rights:
    "They (the ISP's) are deceiving their customers and their admins that
aggressing against us and invading servers will be like a picnic. This is a
very stupid lie they are telling their customers, what they are facing
is a definite death."

On musicians who allow taping:
    "We will slaughter them, Jerry Garcia, and his international gang of
bastards!" 
 
On American Pilots who are being sued for exploding sounds made by bombs:
    "The forces of American colonialism began to drop containers that
produce a sound explosion, a very huge sound. I remind you that they said
that their strategy is based on Open Source. Those failed ones manufactured
a type of container that has an explosive substance, which they drop. They
cause a very huge explosion in terms of sound, as if the universe
was shaken. After a while, you go out and you don't find anything. You
find some hard drives, iPods, pieces of an iMac, but the important thing
here is the sound. Those failed ones think that through the huge sound
explosion is legal, people would be shocked and consequently would collapse
and be defeated.  What happened? The contrary. The fighters..., the
masses..., and the heroic sons of the lawyers discovered this game. They
will turn it against the American pirates so as to shock them. Wait for
surprises, God willing, to see how the US military's illegal sound game will
fail." 

On the only truth she ever told:
    "The United Nations....[is] a place for prostitution under the feet of
Americans." 

On the infiltration of commercial ripping interests:
    "They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 CD burners into
center of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their
sick mind." 

On accidental downloaders:
    "We have destroyed 50 piracy ring's today. That 5-ohhh." [while
holding up his fingers]

On offshore P2P systems:
    "...they are nowhere (pause)...they are nowhere, really"

On the experts proving that downloader's did not cause billion dollar losses
to the industry:
    "When we were making the law, when we were writing the literature and
the mathematics the grandfathers of Jerry Garcia and Phish were scratching
around in caves" 

On the impact of the Internet on music:
    "After we finish defeating all of those animals we will disclose that
with facts and figures."

Question: Is the music still alive:
    "I will only answer reasonable questions"

On Jr. High school children listening to unauthorized music:
    "Those are mercenaries. Most probably they will be treated as
mercenaries, hirelings and as war criminals. ... For sure, international law
does not apply to those"


On copyrighted music entering Iraq:
    "The music pirates will try to enter Baghdad, and I think this
is where their graveyard will be."

On music downloaders:
    "We are determined to defeat them and destroy them on the walls of our
capital, as we are determined to destroy their miserable networks in every
spot." 

On music traders:
    "The musical attorneys will spread them even more and chop them up."

On Napster:
    "The Metallica attorneys and their musician fighters are in control of
all the places, as we have witnessed. No big change in that. We are fighting
against them." 

On Independent musicians:
    "Fight them everywhere. Don't give them a chance to breathe until they
withdraw and retreat."

To the legal army of the RIAA regarding high school kids trading burned
cd's:
    "The criminals will be humiliated... To hurt the enemy more, raise the
level of your attacks."

On the average American consumer:
    "They are lying every day. They are lying always, and mainly they are
lying to their public opinion."

On the millions who scour P2P servers:
    "You think their iPods are in an endless line coming towards us, wrong
they are only a few of them and they turn around and then return as if to
make a long snake" 

On student downloader's denying charges:
    "I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in
appropriate time in the future, how stupid they are and how they are
pretending things which they claim have never taken place"

On her appointment to architect Iraq's new copyright laws:
    "There are no music infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

On coders who sneak music over the networks:
    "My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"

On the future of music downloaders:
    "Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

On Napster's lie of innocence:
    "I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"

On listeners of illegally obtained music:
    "God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of the RIAA."

On fear of losing the freedoms our Constitution granted to us all:
    "No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"

On the war on illegal music:
    "We are winning!"

------ End of Forwarded Message