[iBook] .mac syncing problems w/iCal between two Macs

[gooddog at interlync.com]

Folks;	

I'm having the dickens of a time syncing my iBook to my wife's iMac  
(17" 1.2 GHz flat panel) via .mac. We're both running the latest  
Tiger. When we learned that we could have one calendar, instead of  
two separate ones, and maintain them both via a sync with .mac, we  
were pretty interested. However, we are stuck.

We weren't able to get exactly the same calendars on each machine  
despite all I've tried and read, so I suspect I'm doing something weird.

The situation has deteriorated a bit in that when I sync with .Mac,  
it wants to delete just about all of my calendar information. The  
same on her side. We are perplexed. I'm happy to start from scratch,  
but am a bit confused as to the correct steps.

Are there any step-by-step instructions somewhere?

Thanks

mark