[Ti] Steve dissed?/Power Ballad Tribute

[andrew dean]

You know... As an apple user since the // in jr. high, I've had a bit of a
hero complex with both Jobs and Woz. As I hit puberty I leaned towards Jobs
as the more likely hero. I mean, he's like the lead guitarist/singer of
apple/NeXT/pixar/apple. He dons his "alterna-turtleneck" and goes out and
puts on a hell of a show. He's got his low slung flying Z guitar of an OS
and does all kinds of media pyrotechnics and showman stunts like playing a
solo with his axe behind his head while screaming "are you ready to rock???
I cant hear you, San Francisco!"

But as I've gotten older still... And I've gotten married and bought a house
and ridden a nice wave past the tech explosion into domestication, my values
sure have changed. The whole bigshot rockstar fantasy is long past and while
I'd love to be steve jobs, its just not me.

Then there is Woz. I guess in this analogy he would be the bass player that
writes all the music but stands off to the side.  Kind of the Quincy Jones
of computers or something... Or maybe Bernie Taupin? (although I haven't
seen Jobs wearing platform shoes and rhinestone sunglasses... yet.)

I mean, you have the title of "father of the personal computer for the
masses" and you walk away from it to teach?  And not to teach college
students that care about your notoriety... He teaches children! CHILDREN!
That¹s the most selfless job there is.

The teaching thing alone is reason to worship Woz... But its just the tip of
the iceberg. From his website it appears that NONE of the fame has gone to
his head. He's off playing tetris on the side of a building with geeks...
Just to be geeky. His website has personal info on it. His email address is
public and he reads his own email.  He even posts onto public tibook lists!

BUT NOW... Now he's stepped past what my brain can fathom.

The father of the Apple computer goes into Apple stores... Stores that would
not even dream of existing if not for him...  but he does not identify
himself... And when a sales guy slaps his wrist for standing too close to a
poorly designed display his response is NOT to erupt into flame and start
shooting fiery "founding father" deathrays from his eyes while wielding a
glowing double bladed axe that slashes the air leaving a trail of fire all
the time roaring "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" No, he steps back and says "oh,
sorry."???

I mean... Lets be honest. If any of the rest of us had the power to simply
walk up to the manager of an apple store and state our name while pointing
at ourselves and know that the 17" demo, 4,000 pound balancing-act-display
and all would be unbolted from the ceiling, drug across the store and set at
our feet as we reclined on the oddly uncomfortable black lacquer benches in
front of the genius bar... Could any of us say that we WOULDN¹T abuse that
power?

Mister Wozniak, I have to hand it to you.  You are either the most amazing
man on the planet... Or you are a cyborg.  You have stayed true to your
geekdom and have maintained modesty through fame; humility despite adoration
and teaching despite... Not having to teach. I wish that I could say that
under the same circumstances I'd be as genuine, compassionate and "real"...
But I wouldn¹t be  any of those things.  I just know that as soon as
somebody yelled "bass solo!", I'd run to the front of the stage, fire off a
volley of explosions and vomit a quart of cow's blood past my cow's tongue
grafted onto my own tongue.   I'd then pass out on stage in what most people
think is a drug overdose but it probably has more to do with the fact that I
just vomited a quart of cow's blood to impress the audience.

(if you didn¹t understand that reference, then you are very young... Try
replacing the words "quart of cows blood" with "freestyle rap battle")

Anyways, the whole point of this letter is really to say, "Woz, even though
you are off doing humanitarian and cool geeky modest things... I think you
rock hardest of all, now more than ever."  Seriously. You are amazing.
 
Now, if you tell me that you *don't* play golf with billionaires and sports
heroes, you'll defy *all* the rules of wealth and fame.

-Andrew Dean
Documentary Arts
Andrew at docarts.com